Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Exerpt, from Mi Viejo


The Latino Male

El Macho

Illegal, Undocumented

Cheap Labor

Deported

Querido Papa,  Dear Dad

I love you a lot.  Why did you teach me to fight so well?  Hablarme de tus experiencias Dificiles.  Tell me about your difficult times.  Decirme sobre tu soledad.  Tell me about your loneliness now or ever.  Sufriste igual de qual que persona de la dictadura, pero era una tortura menos fisico y mas sutîl.  You may have suffered as much as anyone during the dictatorship, maybe less physical torture in a more subtle way, in the mind. Vivimos a lado del aeropuerto toda mi vida .  We lived next to the airport my whole life.  Seria posible que mi padre queria nunca olvidarse la manera de volver a su pais.  It’s  possible that my dad never wanted to forget the way to get back to his country.  Pero eligió un aeropuerto nacional.  Así nunca podiamos escaparnos facilmente y volver, si teniamos ganas apasionadas escapar nuestra realidad aqui.  But he chose to live next to the national airport. This way we could never escape easily and return if we had an impassioned moment of wanting or yearning to escape our reality here. 



     
I don’t always know how to be happy and receive paz.  In fact I know more how to toss and turn and reel in the pain of it all.  Sublimandolo.  Sometimes I don’t feel that I survive.  Sometimes I just want to drown in it all.  I think that’s why today and yesterday it’s been nothing but sandwiches with meat on them and milanesas and torta de ricotta and masitas and liquors de butia.  I want to vomit out the world maybe it will be filled with the salt water of the oceans to purify it and teach us differently.  Wondering when the next moment will be when my body reacts as if to poison. A echarlos violently. 

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